31 Days of Asian Horror: Psycho Shark (2009)

I’ve been fairly lucky with the movies that I picked to review for this month that I hadn’t seen yet, but then Psycho Shark came. Nicknamed Jaws in Japan, I had so much hope for this movie. I didn’t think it would be the best, but I really wanted to find a fun and campy creature feature and I don’t think I can describe to you how far off this movie hit. It’s almost a waste of a day to devote a review to it, but if I can make sure someone doesn’t fall for it like I did, then my work is done. I can excuse a lot of things with creature features. I can be ok when the creatures defy physics or the acting is bad. The CGI can be terrible and the movie can have no plot. But somehow, Psycho Shark saw that as a challenge and test my patience. It had so much potential in the beginning, I thought that they would play with the found footage or that there was going to be some play on Psycho because of the name. And just like every other thing about this movie, it let me down. You don’t even see the shark until the last ten minutes of the movie.

Yes. You spend the entire movie waiting for the shark, and sans a dream sequence where we see a shark 3/4 of the way through the movie, you only see it once. I can’t even summarize what goes on during the rest of the movie because nothing goes on. A girl scared and shocked replays a video over and over, girls dance and shower in bikinis…there’s a beach?

Psycho Shark is on Tubi but even for free it’s not worth it. Thankfully lovely people on YouTube did God’s work and clipped the shark scene at the ending so you can watch it and not have to sit through the entire thing. I admit it’s a pretty enjoyable scene, but you literally have to wait for the entire film to get there and it’s just not the payoff you want or need.

+++